Tips on teaching gratitude, from Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta therapist
As Thanksgiving edges closer, many people — even children — are thinking about what they’re thankful for this year.
Gratitude, however, does not come easy for everyone. This can be especially true for children.
Jody Baumstein, LCSW, a Strong4Life licensed children’s therapist at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, said there is no better time to foster consistent and daily gratitude than when your children are young.
Even though we know they aren’t born feeling gratitude, Baumstein told the AJC, we still get frustrated when they aren’t thankful for what we do — “especially around the holidays or birthdays.”
Baumstein’s works to foster gratitude in children and their families, believing it to be a key to a long, healthy and happy life.
People who practice gratitude daily “tend to have increased happiness and life satisfaction. So they’re less stressed, they’re more optimistic and more hopeful,” Baumstein said. “They tend to be more resilient when there are these ups and downs in life, because what they’re really good at is recognizing the big picture.”
That gratitude may be even harder for kids today because they have “gotten accustomed to getting things quickly,” she added.
“There’s a lot of it that’s just this hunger and desire for instant gratification, and the world in which we live in is able to give us that,” Baumstein said.
To combat this, she recommends parents tell their kids more about how products are made, and even suggests taking them to a farm to gain more connection to what they use every day. Baumstein also recommends teaching children to be grateful for things money cannot buy, like the weather.
Another roadblock to gratitude, according to Baumstein, is that people have a hard time sitting in the “gray” and feel things must be all good or all bad.
“A lot of people have a hard time sitting in the middle and realizing that gratitude really isn’t about ignoring the problems or the negative aspects of our life, but rather about finding this balance of recognizing that there’s good along with the bad,” she said.
Gratitude must be practiced every day, Baumstein said, because “it takes a while to make a shift in the brain for something to feel more natural.”
She recommended giving journals to family to create a ritual of finding things to be grateful for throughout the day.
For younger children, Baumstein recommended a gratitude jar. You and your family can write things you are thankful for throughout the year and put them in the jar. At the end of the year, read them aloud and remember the great things that have happened.
Gratitude letters are another activity Baumstein recommended. Childre write to a person they are thankful for, even if they have no plans to send the note.
“Consistency is really critical here. Whether it’s doing it in the morning, at dinner, at bedtime or a weekly ritual, there isn’t a right or wrong,” Baumstein said. “But it does need to be something that’s practiced consistently.”
Baumstein understands gratefulness does not come naturally, however, she still feels it is worth it for families to implement in their daily lives.
“What we’re doing by practicing gratitude is literally rewiring the brain to look for the good, because it’s always there,” she said. “Even in the midst of pain and suffering, there is good.”
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